Why is it that all men talk about is sex?
I have yet to go out on a date with this old new guy and all he talks about is sex.
Hello? I would classify this as either:
1. all you want is sex
2. all you ever think about is sex.
3. you are expecting sex on the first date. This does not make me want to go on that first date with you. (Not that there will be one of he does not ask like a proper gentleman.)
Really, all this does it put the focus on the fact that I am not having sex with AJ. Also thinking about having sex with anyone else anytime soon is just not appealing to me. I have been with one person for a year and a half and to just give it up to someone new so fast seems very cold and distasteful to me.
Oh, the crap men put us through.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
My weekend as a 6 year old.
Saturday I went to my friend H's house. Her husband was going to teach me to skateboard. I never learned as a kid and really wanted to try it out. All the kids were there and very supportive of this 35 year old learning a new trick.
I will explain this all briefly. It took me a few tries to get going but I did not fall or break any bones. I do have a nice bruise on my ankle when I ran the board into me. I rolled slowly down the street one way, turned around and rolled slowly back. I could only use one board because I have terrible balance and the other boards had trucks that were too loose and I would fall off. After an hour of back and forth I finally gave up. I was getting tired and needed a break. And it was also getting dark. So really, it was all uneventful and nothing truly embarrassing happened.
The next day, Sunday, I went to the Milwaukee Water and Air show on lake Michigan. I spent the day with my parents, my dad's friend and his daughter. My brother was supposed to meet us down there but bailed. So it was the four of us and one child. (I wonder if people thought she was my kid and her father my boyfriend/husband).
The traffic was crazy and I was glad I was not driving as it took forever to park and my father does not follow direction well. After shelling out $20 to park in the grass we made our way to the beach to settle in and watch the show.
It started before we even found seats. I was walking along with my head up and not paying attention to where I was going. Needless to say I ran into a few people and almost gone run over by a bicyclist. Good thing it did not take long to find seat or I might not have come back in one piece.
We found seat and right away the kid wants to go play at the beach, so I walk down there with her and watch for a while as she plays in the waves. I get bored since I really wanted to watch the air show not the water show.
We get back to our seats and the main show begins. Each time a new trick, stunt or fly by was done I was giddy. I got goosebumps and would scream or jump up and down. Again, I am 35! Who acts like this at this age? So for the next five hours as a bake in the warm sun I continue to act like a six year old. Some of my favorite parts were the acrobatics done by the teams, the unexpected fly bys, and the noise from the stealth jets.
When it was over, I was so disappointed I wanted to cry. I didn't but that was because we lost the car. After walking by it twice we found it and waited in traffic again just to get back home.
All in all this was one great weekend. As a six year old in a 35 year old body.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Just not sure...
Facebook is a great way to re-connect with people. I have re-connected with many friends from High School. One is my ex-boyfriend from 7th grade. I have little memory of him in HS but I have little memory of much in HS.
Recently, he wrote me and started flirting via the chat. I thought it was just him being funny and did not take it seriously. So when it started to get more serious I hesitated. But with good reason: I was still somewhat with AJ and was not sure it was the right time to move on and start something with someone new. Also, I was not sure how fair that would be to me or him.
When AJ and I started having big problems I considered giving the old new guy a chance. One night while I was making my way home I stopped at his house to say hi and meet before we decided to go out on a real date. If you know someone is coming to see you and you have not seen them in years wouldn't you put a little effort into impressing them? We he did not. I was disappointed and a little turned off. And all I could think of was getting home and hoping to see AJ.
I felt a little shallow because I judged. I don't want to be judged but I was doing it to him. So I decided to take things slow. In the mean time AJ and I were still in battle. This puts a big damper on the whole trying to move on and give old new guy a chance. I have been back and forth and probably have been leading him on a bit too. Or at least messing with his head.
This brings me to last weekend. We had a little reunion of sorts at our old elementary school and he showed up. (He did not attend the same elementary school as the rest of us but decided to crash the party anyway). We talked for a bit but then he had to leave. I thought maybe I could open up enough to give him another chance.
After he left, one of my friends mentioned that old new guy really has strong feelings for me. He loved me. He told her that he always loved me and that he did not know what to do about me at this point. He was also very jealous that she was hanging out with me that same night and he was not. I don't think I have ever had anyone feel like this about me. It is a little scary and exciting. My friend told me to just take it easy with him and that if I felt like I did not want to pursue things with him to be direct and tell him so.
Sunday night be decided to chat with me. I was upset because AJ brought his new girl home and I saw them. This is also the girl he swears he is not seeing. So when old new guy wanted to chat I was a little emotional and a little rude to him. Now I think he has decided to take a moment and leave me be. In his own slightly rude way.
I am not sure if I am upset or relieve. I still don't know what I want but I was willing to give it a try and now maybe there won't be that chance.
Once again I have failed to take a chance.
Boo on me.
Recently, he wrote me and started flirting via the chat. I thought it was just him being funny and did not take it seriously. So when it started to get more serious I hesitated. But with good reason: I was still somewhat with AJ and was not sure it was the right time to move on and start something with someone new. Also, I was not sure how fair that would be to me or him.
When AJ and I started having big problems I considered giving the old new guy a chance. One night while I was making my way home I stopped at his house to say hi and meet before we decided to go out on a real date. If you know someone is coming to see you and you have not seen them in years wouldn't you put a little effort into impressing them? We he did not. I was disappointed and a little turned off. And all I could think of was getting home and hoping to see AJ.
I felt a little shallow because I judged. I don't want to be judged but I was doing it to him. So I decided to take things slow. In the mean time AJ and I were still in battle. This puts a big damper on the whole trying to move on and give old new guy a chance. I have been back and forth and probably have been leading him on a bit too. Or at least messing with his head.
This brings me to last weekend. We had a little reunion of sorts at our old elementary school and he showed up. (He did not attend the same elementary school as the rest of us but decided to crash the party anyway). We talked for a bit but then he had to leave. I thought maybe I could open up enough to give him another chance.
After he left, one of my friends mentioned that old new guy really has strong feelings for me. He loved me. He told her that he always loved me and that he did not know what to do about me at this point. He was also very jealous that she was hanging out with me that same night and he was not. I don't think I have ever had anyone feel like this about me. It is a little scary and exciting. My friend told me to just take it easy with him and that if I felt like I did not want to pursue things with him to be direct and tell him so.
Sunday night be decided to chat with me. I was upset because AJ brought his new girl home and I saw them. This is also the girl he swears he is not seeing. So when old new guy wanted to chat I was a little emotional and a little rude to him. Now I think he has decided to take a moment and leave me be. In his own slightly rude way.
I am not sure if I am upset or relieve. I still don't know what I want but I was willing to give it a try and now maybe there won't be that chance.
Once again I have failed to take a chance.
Boo on me.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Are you out there?
I don't believe anyone is actually reading my blog at the moment but I will continue to post. I hope to one day have some follows but for now I will continue to do this for me. Happy reading...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Camping and the Cold
This summer has been a little rough. My family and majority of my good friends live in Wisconsin. I live in Illinois. Summers usually mean I drive up there. A lot. This summer many of my plans have been altered due to my parents dog having a terrible illness. I cannot visit because it is contagious to me and my dog.
So, this past weekend I was supposed to go camping with all my friends and their families. I thought I was going to have to cancel because I have no one to watch my dog. After some thought and discussion I decided to board my dog at the local kennel and pray everything was okay. Then I started feeling a little sick two days before the trip. I felt my trip was doomed. Immediately, I started taking Zicam. It is supposed to reduce the symptoms and shorten the length of a cold. Well, this is great, I thought. I will push through and enjoy my long weekend.
Friday morning I dropped off Lolo at the kennel and he was fine. He actually walked away happy as could be. Huh. That is interesting because at the vet he plops down on his butt and won't budge. Well, have a good weekend pup!
As for myself, I decided to go camping even though I was taking tons of meds to hold off my cold. Zicam was doing its job. I arrive with a good attitude and a desire to get some sun. I come with cold medicine and kleenex in hand. I am prepared. Thank goodness.
So this is how my weekend went:
Friday: My friends D and D come to pick me up at my parents house. When they get there I fond that there is no room in the car for me or my stuff. We have to unpack and repack the car to fit me. Finally, we are able to hit the road. We arrive at the cabin, unpack, put on our bathing suits and hit the beach. Our other friends are already there with their kids so we swim with them and I begin working on my non existent tan. Yes! Summer. Finally, I can enjoy what I have been missing.
Friday night: I take Zicam and carry around my kleenex in a baggie since my nose is a bit stuffy. We cook dinner, enjoy the huge fire and watch my friends husband, J, tear down parts of a tree (this seems to happen every camping trip we take). We look at all the stars and try to find constellations (not easy to do, really, but my friend brought us maps of the stars). We enjoy the great company and finally at midnight we all head to our respective beds. Around 1am a thunderstorm rolled in and then right back out. But all in all not a bad day.
Saturday: I wake up and feel crappy but it is beautiful outside so I take cough medicine, get ready and hit the beach with kids. We decide to take a break from the sun and eat lunch, I take a nap and about an hour later get woken up by kids to go back to beach. Around 3pm I start to feel worse, leave beach to get out of the sun and take more medicine. Then I go hang out with guys up on the deck at one of the cabins. I enjoy the shade and appreciate the lack of humidity. Later in the afternoon my other friend's husband shows us his full moon (his butt) and some stars to go with it. Did not need to see that but she dared him and he delivered.
Saturday night: Get assistance cooking dinner from J. He always helps us out with dinner. He doesn't know this but he is my hero. I decide then to take shower hoping it will make me feel better. I dress for warmth since I am freezing and it is quite a cool night. We all sit by fire and share good jokes and talk about sex and eventually all stumble off to bed.
Sunday: I wake up and feel like death, get dressed, pack up and hit the road to go home.
Get to parents, take nap, get up and shower, drive home, get dog and pass out after taking meds.
Sunday night: sleep.
I took no pictures, which is disappointing but I came home to a dog who was happy to see me and that made it the best.
Also, I found out my friend D caught my cold and is not very happy with me.
So, this past weekend I was supposed to go camping with all my friends and their families. I thought I was going to have to cancel because I have no one to watch my dog. After some thought and discussion I decided to board my dog at the local kennel and pray everything was okay. Then I started feeling a little sick two days before the trip. I felt my trip was doomed. Immediately, I started taking Zicam. It is supposed to reduce the symptoms and shorten the length of a cold. Well, this is great, I thought. I will push through and enjoy my long weekend.
Friday morning I dropped off Lolo at the kennel and he was fine. He actually walked away happy as could be. Huh. That is interesting because at the vet he plops down on his butt and won't budge. Well, have a good weekend pup!
As for myself, I decided to go camping even though I was taking tons of meds to hold off my cold. Zicam was doing its job. I arrive with a good attitude and a desire to get some sun. I come with cold medicine and kleenex in hand. I am prepared. Thank goodness.
So this is how my weekend went:
Friday: My friends D and D come to pick me up at my parents house. When they get there I fond that there is no room in the car for me or my stuff. We have to unpack and repack the car to fit me. Finally, we are able to hit the road. We arrive at the cabin, unpack, put on our bathing suits and hit the beach. Our other friends are already there with their kids so we swim with them and I begin working on my non existent tan. Yes! Summer. Finally, I can enjoy what I have been missing.
Friday night: I take Zicam and carry around my kleenex in a baggie since my nose is a bit stuffy. We cook dinner, enjoy the huge fire and watch my friends husband, J, tear down parts of a tree (this seems to happen every camping trip we take). We look at all the stars and try to find constellations (not easy to do, really, but my friend brought us maps of the stars). We enjoy the great company and finally at midnight we all head to our respective beds. Around 1am a thunderstorm rolled in and then right back out. But all in all not a bad day.
Saturday: I wake up and feel crappy but it is beautiful outside so I take cough medicine, get ready and hit the beach with kids. We decide to take a break from the sun and eat lunch, I take a nap and about an hour later get woken up by kids to go back to beach. Around 3pm I start to feel worse, leave beach to get out of the sun and take more medicine. Then I go hang out with guys up on the deck at one of the cabins. I enjoy the shade and appreciate the lack of humidity. Later in the afternoon my other friend's husband shows us his full moon (his butt) and some stars to go with it. Did not need to see that but she dared him and he delivered.
Saturday night: Get assistance cooking dinner from J. He always helps us out with dinner. He doesn't know this but he is my hero. I decide then to take shower hoping it will make me feel better. I dress for warmth since I am freezing and it is quite a cool night. We all sit by fire and share good jokes and talk about sex and eventually all stumble off to bed.
Sunday: I wake up and feel like death, get dressed, pack up and hit the road to go home.
Get to parents, take nap, get up and shower, drive home, get dog and pass out after taking meds.
Sunday night: sleep.
I took no pictures, which is disappointing but I came home to a dog who was happy to see me and that made it the best.
Also, I found out my friend D caught my cold and is not very happy with me.
Monday, July 6, 2009
The End- The final break-up.
I have finally done it. I have let go. I am free.
This past Saturday was truly my Independence Day.
After more than a year with AJ I have finally decided it needed to end. It was not easy and it is still heartbreaking but it is the right thing to do. After a stupid fight over a camera (he wants to buy it from me or really he wants me to give it to him) I finally declared the end. I got the key to my house back and walked away with as much dignity as I could muster. Considering it was raining, he was in his car and I was outside, I am not sure how much dignity. I probably looked a little crazy.
So here are the top 10 reasons to stay broken up. (And why did I stay with him for so long????)
1. He is a liar
2. He is a drunk
3. When drunk he can get violent (never with me...he just tries to be a tough guy)
4. He is a freeloader (lives with ex-girlfriend and doesn't pay rent)
5. Lives with ex-girlfriend
6. Legal troubles - was arrested for battery, incident with police (see previous post)
7. Has built walls taller than the Great Wall of China
8. Commitment-phobe
9. He is selfish
10. He is a CHEATER
Reasons to get back together:
1. My dog loves him and he is a great dog sitter
2. He is great in bed.
3. He can make me laugh
4. uhh...ummm...he is great in bed
5. uhhh...i got nothing else
This is the end. No getting back together. It is time to move on and be free. To become a happier version of me; in a few months...
(And as I write this, he texts me. Not to say sorry or I want to see you. Nope, its about the damn camera he wants to buy from me.)
This past Saturday was truly my Independence Day.
After more than a year with AJ I have finally decided it needed to end. It was not easy and it is still heartbreaking but it is the right thing to do. After a stupid fight over a camera (he wants to buy it from me or really he wants me to give it to him) I finally declared the end. I got the key to my house back and walked away with as much dignity as I could muster. Considering it was raining, he was in his car and I was outside, I am not sure how much dignity. I probably looked a little crazy.
So here are the top 10 reasons to stay broken up. (And why did I stay with him for so long????)
1. He is a liar
2. He is a drunk
3. When drunk he can get violent (never with me...he just tries to be a tough guy)
4. He is a freeloader (lives with ex-girlfriend and doesn't pay rent)
5. Lives with ex-girlfriend
6. Legal troubles - was arrested for battery, incident with police (see previous post)
7. Has built walls taller than the Great Wall of China
8. Commitment-phobe
9. He is selfish
10. He is a CHEATER
Reasons to get back together:
1. My dog loves him and he is a great dog sitter
2. He is great in bed.
3. He can make me laugh
4. uhh...ummm...he is great in bed
5. uhhh...i got nothing else
This is the end. No getting back together. It is time to move on and be free. To become a happier version of me; in a few months...
(And as I write this, he texts me. Not to say sorry or I want to see you. Nope, its about the damn camera he wants to buy from me.)
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Boyfriend Troubles
So, I have been dating this guy for over a year now. It is definitely not the best relationship. We have our problems. One of the biggest is that he is a 31 year old frat boy that refused to grow up. This puts a strain on this 35 year old adult who only occasionally acts likes she is 21.
So the latest trouble AJ has found is this: Last week AJ called and said he was going to come over. We live very close to each other so if he does not it is rather strange. So, at 3am he still had not shown up and I was irritated but not worried. Because I was up, I also noticed that there were a few police vehicles parked outside. Unusual for my neighborhood which had me a little concerned but I figured it was nothing and went back to bed.
The next morning I noticed that AJ had not come home. His car was not there. (When I say we live very close, I mean we are neighbors). Now I was a bit worried. I texted him right away. Nothing. I called and it went straight to voicemail. Now I am worried. I try again and again all morning. Nothing. I check with one of his friends. They know nothing, if they did, they did not tell me. One even tried to convince me to break up with AJ. NOT NOW!!!!
All day I am worried that something bad happened to AJ. Did the police have something to do with it? Was he arrested, hurt or dead? Finally, I decided to go home and once there I see that he is leaving with one of his friends. He texts me right away to say that his car was towed. Okayyyyy?
Later that night he tells me via text that his car was used in a chase and that the cops towed it and were trying to find out who the driver was. AJ knows nothing. He was not in the car. He won't say who was. It is all a mystery to me. I just know that he is too old to be in situations such as this. Really? Who does this?
So, now a week later AJ has his car back and he needs to take it in for new rims. He wants to take my spare so he can drive it there. Ok. Except that he is not getting it done around here. Nooooo, he is taking it somewhere a few hours away and he plans to be gone the entire weekend. So my thought is NO. You cannot use my spare. I need it. Well I think I do. Because if I don't have it I will most assuredly get a flat. If I have it I will not.
So as today winds to a close... AJ has new rims on his car and I did not have to give up my spare. He is a bit miffed at me but he will get over it. He usually does.
Oh, and I rather not know the entire story from the other night. I don't think I could handle it.
So the latest trouble AJ has found is this: Last week AJ called and said he was going to come over. We live very close to each other so if he does not it is rather strange. So, at 3am he still had not shown up and I was irritated but not worried. Because I was up, I also noticed that there were a few police vehicles parked outside. Unusual for my neighborhood which had me a little concerned but I figured it was nothing and went back to bed.
The next morning I noticed that AJ had not come home. His car was not there. (When I say we live very close, I mean we are neighbors). Now I was a bit worried. I texted him right away. Nothing. I called and it went straight to voicemail. Now I am worried. I try again and again all morning. Nothing. I check with one of his friends. They know nothing, if they did, they did not tell me. One even tried to convince me to break up with AJ. NOT NOW!!!!
All day I am worried that something bad happened to AJ. Did the police have something to do with it? Was he arrested, hurt or dead? Finally, I decided to go home and once there I see that he is leaving with one of his friends. He texts me right away to say that his car was towed. Okayyyyy?
Later that night he tells me via text that his car was used in a chase and that the cops towed it and were trying to find out who the driver was. AJ knows nothing. He was not in the car. He won't say who was. It is all a mystery to me. I just know that he is too old to be in situations such as this. Really? Who does this?
So, now a week later AJ has his car back and he needs to take it in for new rims. He wants to take my spare so he can drive it there. Ok. Except that he is not getting it done around here. Nooooo, he is taking it somewhere a few hours away and he plans to be gone the entire weekend. So my thought is NO. You cannot use my spare. I need it. Well I think I do. Because if I don't have it I will most assuredly get a flat. If I have it I will not.
So as today winds to a close... AJ has new rims on his car and I did not have to give up my spare. He is a bit miffed at me but he will get over it. He usually does.
Oh, and I rather not know the entire story from the other night. I don't think I could handle it.
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